2019, May 31st – June 9th
Oh, how I wish that this were an April Fools’ joke. Below is a picture of the newsflash from the University of Nevada, Las Vegas for the month of March. Can you see anything wrong with it?
The following article is a satirical take on the way that modern scholars write about medieval and ancient history.
“US’s Founding: Separating Fact from Fable”
by Dr. IhaveaPhD Whichmakesmesmarterthanyou
July 4th, 3010
Across the country millions of classics-aficionados will be celebrating the 1,234th anniversary of US’s founding today. But although most understand that the significance of July 4th, 1776 is purely fictional, they struggle to understand just where to draw the line between fact and fable. Drawing from the most up-to-date scholarship, I will sort out the facts of US’s founding.
According to American mythology, US was originally made up of colonies under the British crown. Although historians are certain that the British Empire had some colonies around the world at that time, there is severe doubt that any ships ever made trans-Atlantic voyages before 1812.  As the story goes, colonists led by a mythical group of tribal elders called the “Founding Fathers” revolted against the crown and seceded from the British Empire. They then won their victory after a long war (an impossible task given the immense military might of the British Empire) and became an independent confederation of sovereign states (also impossible, considering that US is one state with a strong, central government). The date for this independence is traditionally given as 1776, although some sources state that US did not begin until 1789, as this was the inauguration year of the first president, George Washington. 
From Pimiko to Fimiko?
A history of Japanese writing before 1600
The history of Japanese writing is a relatively short but eventful one. In the span of only a couple of centuries the Japanese people went from having no writing system at all to having one of the richest and most complex. Fortunately, because Japanese writing is so young we know a great deal about its origins. The 807 AD work Kogojuui (“Gleanings from the ancient language”) stated in its preface that writing was not known to the Japanese people until Chinese script was imported via Korea. A 13th century commentary on Nihon Shoki, however, claimed that writing had existed in Japan since time immemorial, and the so-called “language of the gods” was supplanted by Chinese script. Debate raged on for centuries over which assertion was the correct one. There was a certain appeal to believing that the gods themselves had granted writing to the Japanese people, and so this belief came about long after everyone who knew the truth firsthand had died of old age.
For a couple years I wanted to make a historical fiction video game set in Persia in 1258. But by the time I finished the outline, I got so busy with other things that I never even started the actual game making part. And I have almost no free time now, so I figured that I might as well release the script and at least let you read it since you’ll never be able to play it.
Following the success of Super Mario Bros. in 1985/86, there was an explosion of games in the US, especially for the NES. Most of these, I must confess, were awful. But among the fields of thorns there were quite a few roses. These are the ones that almost made it into the bouquet, but had to be pruned off for the benefit of the fair recipient (that would be you).
Original Version: 悪魔城ドラキュラ, released in 1986 for the Nintendo Famicom Disk System and for the Nintendo Famicom
This is one of the classics right here. Castlevania takes all the staples of horror movies–vampires, bats, mummies, creaky old castles, etc.–and mashes them all together in one action-packed platformer.
After years of dreaming and wishing, I finally did it. God blessed me with the opportunity to go to Japan. This was my first time outside the US and it was, in a word, amazing. At the request of friends and family, I took many pictures. I also captured some short videos. Here they are for your viewing pleasure. Click an image to view the full-sized version. Page 1: Week one. Page 2: Week two. Page 3: Gallery.
Original version: メトロイド, released on 1986/08/06 for Nintendo Famicom Disk System
Recommended version: メトロイド ゼロミッション, released on 2004/05/27 for Game Boy Advance
After the platforming goodness of Super Mario Bros. and the open world exploration of Legend of Zelda, Nintendo mixed the two together to create another one of the most influential games of all time.