“Parvum, P.I.”

After looking over my high-school era stories, I came to the realization that few of them are any good. In fact, they’re horrible. For that reason I have decided to skip ahead a bit to one of the good ones. This story was, like the play below, written in a quick burst. I began on June 29th, 2008 at 03:00 a.m. and finished fifty minutes later. I then went to sleep.

“Parvum, P.I.: The Yak Files”

The phone rang. A hand reflexively turned on the lamp, followed by a displeased groan. According to the alarm clock it was 9:15 p.m., far past our hero’s bedtime. After rubbing his eyes he picked up the phone.

“‘Ello,” he croaked.

“Is this Parvum?” a panicked woman gasped. He jerked the receiver away from his ear, a soiled expression on his tired face.

Continue reading

“The Winter of Discontent”

A note before we begin: This is presented in its original form, without any editing. This story was written in Spring of 2006. Beware of low-to-middling quality.

A short playe naméd The Winter of Discontent Turned Summer by a Great Dragon Spewing Fire Everywhere

Personæ Dramatis and people of the playe:

Baroness Jennifer Fetterman, liegeman of Londinium

David Liggett, said to be the boyfriend of Jennifer

Franco Oberes, High Jumper and  Runner

Young José, imported slave

Principal Emilio Fernandez, Sage

Others

Act I Scene I

Baroness Jennifer Fetterman was borne in London, England under the reign of Emperor Arthur MacArthur in the era of Kingdomcome. Beholdeth and behest, a great neesing leviathan torment’d the city of London. Many men tried as they may to kill the great monstre, yea, but succeeded not. Save one man, the great knight Sir Crapsalot, dar’d with great valor and an extra toothbrush to seek out this monster and put a stop to his nefarious agonite. Now it came to pass that the squire of Sir Crapsalot was a squirrelish boy naméd Franco Oberes. This young beefy boy could jump higher than a house (although so can I; have you ever seen a house jump?) and beheld the ability to run alongside a horse. In fact, he did. Sir Crapsalot held no part in sharing his horse with a squire. Now it came to pass that in that day of discontent entreated Emperor MacArthur his son and Baroness Fetterman to a feast in the court.

Continue reading

A Blog Commences Definitely Energetically

Welcome to my blog. As you read this I am currently working on ways to boost traffic to this site. I have already added “Free” to the beginning of the original title, “Computer Viruses.” It seems to have worked at least moderately, judging by your presence. Man, marketing is hard! Anyway, I will be maintaining several pages here, so look forward to its growth. If all goes well, I will rise to the top, just like the garbage in Lake Michigan cream. Look forward to more as the days go on.

Pieces,

John.