A dadly report

My dad is turning 68 today. In honor of his birthday, I wish to present the following. I call it:

James Everett: a shocking true story.

My father is a big man with an even bigger beard and a surprisingly lopsided prefrontal cortex. At age 10 he was born in a log cabin that he built with his hands tied behind his back. My father is very industrious and pepper-y but he makes everyone around him uncomfortable. Shaking hands with my dad feels like squeezing toothpaste out of a dead fish. Shake hands with him and you’ll immediately rush to the shower to scrub off the icky sensation. But it won’t work–nothing ever could.

Continue reading