There comes a point in every man’s life when a judge forces him to deliver a written apology to a man he’s assaulted. This is that letter:
Dear Mr. Smith,
First of all, Hi! How are you? I hope the wife is doing well. In fact I know she is, but that’ll have to wait for another court-mandated letter. In the meantime, give her my love (or just leave the back door unlocked so I can continue to do it for you). How about the little tyke Junior? That’s great. So happy for you. Anyway, I’m writing to respond to the incident that happened in Joe’s Tavern last week. I trust that you have been released from the hospital by now. So let’s jump in, shall we?
Have you ever wondered what a musical composition written by a non-composer would sound like? Wonder no more! I present to you my mess-terpiece, “Notta Toccata.” It’s not actually a toccata, but I wrote it at night so I called it “Notta Toccata,” because notte is the Italian word for night; and “notta” sound like “not a.” Aren’t jokes just extra-funny when they’re explained?
OK, That title was the bait, now time for the switch.
I decided to try something a little different with the way I discuss things and wrote this monologue as I thought it up. As with any free writing exercise, I started typing and didn’t stop until I was done; essentially producing a stream of consciousness diatribe. It’s guaranteed more invigorating than a nice cup of tea (once you’re down to just the leaves)! Anyway, I didn’t change any words since finishing. I only added punctuation, edited spelling, etc., and inserted links for your browsing enjoyment.
As promised, my second try at free writing was much better than the first. What I forgot to mention before is that spleling, grammar; and p.unc/tuati”on. are meant to be left to the wayside when free writing. This is so that the writer will be able to write as quickly as possible and let ideas flow forth instead of pausing to make revisions. As much as it pains me to leave these untouched, their hideous mistakes need to be left alone. It’s one of the essential qualities of free writing.
Hey, you! Yeah, you! The intelligent, attractive one sitting in front of this computer! Did you know that I have a blog where I post stuff I come across? Well, here it is.
Click it. Do it now. There’s something for everyone. I have videos, pictures, music, art, and so on. Basically whatever I like I add to that blog. Here’s the link again.
Doing so ensures that I will love you forever. Or, if you don’t like me, clicking will cause me to feel unbearably intense pain. While I’m here promoting my other content, why don’t I just link my Steam page as well? Look at my screenshots, browse my games library and see my recommendations while you’re waiting for the Games Appreciation articles on them later. I have another secret blog that’s secret, but you needn’t know about that.
So, I’ll have a real post next Monday. Like, fer realz. I’ll probably have a few posts on blogspot before then, maybe. I don’t know. I’m writing this on January 18th, so I have no idea what’ll happen between now and the 4th of February. Anything is possible. I do mean anything. Who knows, I might be the queen of England by then. In fact, I’m pretty sure I will be. Look forward to that.
Free writing, for those not in the know. is an exercise wherein one will write for a period of time, usually five to fifteen minutes, about anything that comes to mind. Free writing produces mostly unusable material, but can also pop out some surprising gems.
Welcome to my blog. As you read this I am currently working on ways to boost traffic to this site. I have already added “Free” to the beginning of the original title, “Computer Viruses.” It seems to have worked at least moderately, judging by your presence. Man, marketing is hard! Anyway, I will be maintaining several pages here, so look forward to its growth. If all goes well, I will rise to the top, just like the garbage in Lake Michigan cream. Look forward to more as the days go on.