Free Writing Exercise #1

Free writing, for those not in the know. is an exercise wherein one will write for a period of time, usually five to fifteen minutes, about anything that comes to mind. Free writing produces mostly unusable material, but can also pop out some surprising gems.

I was inspired to free write after I saw a video of Tim Schafer explaining how he starts every game with a whole lot of free writing, which ends up giving him many great ideas. I, too, wanted to have many great ideas so I decided to free write as well. I have yet to amass the same amount of content as he has…

Warning: If you are not a Double Fine Adventure backer, you are not allowed to look at the above image. Stop. Stop it right now.

…but maybe that’s because after I wrote the following paragraph I didn’t free write again for five months. Heh. Whoops. Anyway, here’s my first try at free writing. I assure you, the next one is much better. I’m just putting this one here so that future generations will see the inanity that slopped out of my head and onto a keyboard.

Here goes.
Written June 07, 2012

This is my first attempt at freewriting. Now don’t laugh at me because this really is my first attempt and I don’t know what I’m doing. I just say Tim Shafer doing it and I was all like “hey I should try that to” and now I’m trying it which I think is just totally awesome like awesomesause. Say if you ever put awesomesauce on a opossum what would it taste like? Awesome opossum? Yeah, I KNOW, THAT JOKE IS BAD BUT DON’T THINK YOU DIDN’T SMILE AT IT BECAUSE I KNOW you did. Whoops, I just had caps lock on for a bit there. Don’t know what came over me. I wasn’t yelling, really. That was just an accident. But I won’t go back and fix it becaseu the point of freewriting is not to stop or edit yoursle.f just let the deas fow forth from your meaty fingers. Listen to the sound of yourself clack away inside a burger king. I hope none of the other customers mind. No it’s ok. They’re talking about shoes or somethinh. Crocs, I think, anyway, it’s now been a papragraph and I haven’t had any good ideas yet. Maybe it’s because I’m staring at the keyboard to make sure I’m not giving to uch thought to what I’m writing but then I just end up focusing on the keyboard and I din’t actually write anything. That’s okay good ideas will come if you just keep typing . just keep typing, just keep typing, kust keep typing typing typing. That’ was copyright pixar. No infringement intended. Now, then, what was I talking about? Crocs? No, crocodiles. Dentist crocodiles who live in a marsh down in the bayou. Yes, a voodoo dentist who tries to fill cavities with wisdom and, like, Rastafarianism or something, I don’t’t know. But anyway, there’s this one evil crocodile dentist who tries to use his secrety zombie medicine to turn his patients into an army of zombie dentisit patients! He thinks that he’ll get away with it because he’s a crocodile and they tend to think that they can get away with stuff like that. Why else would they be constantly smiling those toothy grins? So anyway, the hero eventually saves the day and when the mad croc dentist is on trial, the prosecuting attorney is all “don’t use those crocodile tears on me” and the audience is all like “hahaha that was a funy joke” and the attorney breaks the fourth wall and he ‘s like “I know. John is funny.” So anyway, the crocodile is sentenced to fill cavities for free for the next five years, but then he keeps using zombie powder in secret because I mean why wouldn’t he? The opportunity was perfet and also he’s a bit of a jerk so nobody catches him and he continues to amass his army in secret to take over all of the ccaribbean but then one hero notices something is up when he sees that nobody is coming home from the ir dentist appointments and he’s like “whoa, I bet he has =n’t amended his evil ways” and when he goes to the croc’s office to find out, he’s trapped in a cage made of very long teeth.

Well that was awful.


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